I used to love to chat with everyone. I would run into someone in town and could stand there for an hour talking and not even notice the time.
If you have seen me out in the last 2 weeks and I didn’t speak, it’s because I couldn’t speak. For that I am sorry. Friends have told me that grief makes you do weird things. I see that now and don’t like it at all. That is not who I am. I have said it more than a hundred times. I am mad and none of this is right! This should not have happened. There are many people who live mesothelioma for a long time. Lots of people can keep it in check. Why was Martin different? There were several things that happened to him on this journey that never should have happened. I will tell you about it when I find some words.
But for now, I am mad and it is the unhealthy kind of mad. We have some legal matters that will have to be dealt with and it is hard to go through and rehash everything that has happened in the last year. I have to give a deposition on how Martin being sick has changed our lives. REALLY? Do you REALLY want to ask me that? Well, they better sit down and get comfy because what I have to say is long and I will make it as uneasy as I can for those that have to ask such an idiotic question. So as I said, please pray that I can keep some level of dignity as I try not to spew utter hatred at the people responsible for killing Martin and wrecking our lives. There I said what I said.
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Martin has Meso 
I remember sitting at a big table with attorneys from GE, HL&P, the Apartment complex, and some other company they collectively asked ” how much money would it take to help you feel move at ease with your Dad’s death?” And I looked at them, 23 years old, and I said “nothing, nothing you all have will ever bring him back” And I walked out.
I pray for you and the kids having to go through that torture.
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I hate that for you. I remember when Uncle Ronnie passed and how it affected everyone. There are some things that are more precious than the money of Big Business. My kids may be called on to do a deposition. Payton has already said she wanted to. You are the same age as Payton now. How can they ask such things of a 23-year-old?
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She is smart and strong, both of them are, just like you and Martin. Its wrong to ask a young person the questions they ask, I don’t know how they sleep.
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