Looking For Some Happy In All This

I was going through my google photos the other day and found this photo. Martin didn’t often ask to have his photo taken but this time he did. Grandmother wasn’t real excited about it because she wasn’t prepared to have her photo, but graciously obliged him anyway. I am so glad she did so that I have this photo. I think they are both together now waiting for judgment day. I hope that Martin has met my papaw. He always heard great things about him, I hope he is seeing that for himself. There are so many others that I hope Martin is with. Bill Murff, Andrew Dahlquist, Uncle Damon, and there are so many more that I should list. I don’t know if that is even a thing or not but it makes this burden easier thinking that he is surrounded by people we loved here on Earth.

Don’t they look happy? They are staring me right in the eyes. They are together, without me.

You know they say when someone is dying there are loved ones that have already passed in the room waiting to take them on. I would have loved to have known if that was something Martin was experiencing. But his inability to speak kept him from saying things that I know he would have wanted to tell people, especially the kids. It is just so sad that we, as humans, don’t say what we want or need to say before it is too late.

So can we just learn that lesson now?

To enjoy the benefits of taking the courage to say whats needed so people can live better together?

We can call it Martin’s lesson

My papaw, Ernest Davenport, who is Shirley’s husband, died when she was 50. She was 2 years older than I am right now. She lost her husband instantly in a tractor accident in 1982. I lost mine slowly over 13 months. You always think about which is worse, watching someone die vs them being gone in an instant. Neither is better or worse- they both suck- we are still left with an emptiness and void that will not go away. Just if you have to go through watching someone slowly leaving you, there is more opportunities to get things in order.

My Grandmother, Shirley, passed away on September 18, 2021. Never thought I would lose these 2 special people in my life so close to each other. Grandmother outlived him by about 4 months. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS after all these years together?

At Grandmother’s funeral, her neighbors were there. They had done so much for her in the 40 years they were neighbors. Broke my heart when Myra said that after Papaw died, at night they could hear Grandmother wailing with grief. How sad… WE NEVER KNEW.

October 2016

Many of us have a vivid memory of hearing Martins laugh through the blast proof door & thick Control Room walls prior to him barging in. He would always exit the same way, transferring joy with a silly grin to whoever was blessed to be next.

I can only assume Angels were recently peaking around the gates of heaven trying to see what is going on & who is about to come on in like they own the place.

Martin had a gift of blending work with pleasure so effortlessly that we should all try to mimic. This really hurts for so many of us, but I have chosen to smile for my ole Buddy that beat me to Paradise. Much Love & Prayers for The Montoya Family. 

Casey Hornberger